Wall Street and ZOMBIES
With apologies to Stanley Weiser and Oliver Stone. EXT. WALL STREET – EARLY MORNINGContinue reading: Wall Street and ZOMBIES
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Zombie maths
This, apparently, is the mathematical model for zombie infection. Continue reading: Zombie maths
View Article28 Day-Traders Later
Games of spoof can be very expensive. Just ask Mike Ashley, who reportedly lost £200,000 when playing against his advisors at Merrill Lynch. Or ask Peter Beck, the Canadian day-trading evangelist who...
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Return of the living dead, hedge fund edition
We interrupt this blog to announce a zombie apocalypse has occurred. Please remain calm and do not adjust your allocations, many hedge funds remain open and fee structures are intact. Continue reading:...
View ArticleWalking dead update
The latest monthly performance figures for the hedge fund industry are out — and those funds still breathing had a good-ish month, up 1.6 per cent on average in September, according to HFR. September...
View ArticleStep one in zombie prevention: pants on
Common Sense Investment Management has not joined the ranks of the walking dead, quite yet. However, the fund of hedge funds — which until August managed $3.2bn — has seen investors pull 90 per cent of...
View ArticleAnother walking dead update
Two months to go to year-end, and hedge fund managers are starting to ask their staff for some ideas to get performance up before January rolls around. So how are the still-living ranks of the zombie...
View ArticleZombies are the wrong kind of mean
The generally excellent Spencer Jakab leaves his zombie repellent behind on Monday, when he speculates in the Wall Street Journal that the formerly decent returns of the hedge fund industry will return...
View ArticleTwo and twenty is long dead and buried
Glance at a Citi Prime Finance report that fees are starting to crumble, and a casual reader might conclude that something is wrong in the house of hedge funds. Perhaps investors have begun to notice...
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Three things long/short hedge funds cannot do (well)
We have mentioned the five-year problem before. However, we suspect that the ranks of the zombies will be swelling again soon, because of the simple fact that the five-year track record of...
View ArticleSmart enough to avoid a zombie bite?
Check out a moment of honesty from sartorial legend and hedge fund veteran Michael Novogratz of Fortress. One paragraph from Institutional Investor captures both the central contradiction of hedge...
View ArticleSour sixteen, a pre-Zombie update
Bloomberg Markets Magazine has published its annual list of investment returns for large hedge funds. Kudos to Larry Robbins of Glenview for winning the 2013 performance roulette with an 84 per cent...
View ArticleJust one of your old time corrections
From the man with Austin Powers-like assets under management, apparently: Continue reading: Just one of your old time corrections
View ArticleThe world’s most successful hedge fund is not a hedge fund
Well done George Soros, who ended last year $5.5bn richer than he began it thanks to the performance of his Quantum Endowment Fund. Each year LCH Investments tots the best hedge funds of all time as...
View ArticleCan we finally lay to rest the idea that zombies justified their existence in...
When it comes to hedge fund performance there are a lot of excuses deployed to justify the billions of dollars charged in fees every year for sub-par returns. One is that the benchmark for comparison...
View ArticlePre-Zombie update
February was a good month for the hedge funds, erasing January losses and then some, according to HFR. The average hedge fund was up 2.1 per cent in February, to leave it up 1.5 per cent for 2014 so...
View ArticleZombie hordes thrive, await further hedge fund corpses
Close to a tenth of all hedge funds tracked by HFR succumbed to the inevitable last year as 904 hedge funds liquidated. Their historic performance will live on in the databases of hedge fund returns,...
View ArticlePre-zombie update
First quarter performance results for surviving hedge funds are out. A volatile performance, says index compiler HFR. For the first quarter, the HFRI [Fund Weighted Composite] gained +1.1 percent, with...
View ArticlePre-zombie update: slow, steady and hungry they march
First-half performance numbers for the hedge fund industry as collated by HFR have arrived. Three up months and three down months leave the industry delivering after-fee gains to investors of 3.2 per...
View ArticleOne in four lose some more
The cover of FTfm features some tough Monday morning reading for professionals paid to help investors pick hedge funds: Roughly a quarter of all hedge funds tracked by Preqin have posted negative...
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